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Category Archives: marriage

                       

My wife, The Hot Little Number, has two smiles. One is a nice, warm smile appropriate for everyday use. Its a perfectly pleasant smile and I always enjoy seeing it. It pales in comparison however to smile #2.  That one is bigger, brighter and blazes with raw, megawatt sex appeal.  I like that smile.  Lately I feel like I don’t make it appear often enough, so anything that does is intriguing to me.

Now, I have to confess that intrigued was not my first reaction when I saw the new Old Spice “Look at Your Man” commercial the other night for the first time.  The Hot Little Number is looking at him, then looking at me, then looking at him, and by the time the commercial is over, she’s got the megawatt smile going and she’s cracking up.  I’m feeling a little perturbed. I ask the Hot Little Number, how the heck do they think they are gonna sell me Old Spice with that pitch?. She laughs and says “they’re betting that I’m the one buying the smell good.  I’m thinking , yeah, damn right, cuz I’m not feeling like shelling out my hard earned cash for some Old Spice after Mr. Pecs finishes comparing and contrasting my mild flabby flab with his rock hard abs.

Later on, I run into an online ad with the same guy at You Tube.  In this one, you get a choice of watching his spot again or finding out ways to romance your woman. I think to myself, okay, something I can use and click through for some of this assistance brother man is offering, which turns out to be kinda cool.  So I decide that the whole Old Spice “Look at Your Man” campaign is not quite so foul.

The other thing that struck me about this commercial is how times have changed.   I wonder  if the Old Spice marketing folks believed this ad would be effective to capture the buying attention of white women? Old Spice using a sexy black man to sell the product is just a weird contrast to the Old Spice commercials I think I remember from my youth.  Didn’t those all used to have like this handsome Nordic white guy with a corn cob pipe in his mouth in a seaman’s jacket with the smell of the sea about him? (or is that the Irish Spring commercials of old?).  Now, unless Old Spice is now competing with the likes of Drakar (Yes, I’m dating myself) and such for the black male fragrance top spot, I don’t recall Old Spice being marketed to brothers or their women, but without a doubt this ad is clearly designed to get the attention of a black woman. Its effective too, if the back and forth glances of the Hot Little Number are an accurate judge. So brothers, tell me, how does this ad strike you? How did your woman react? If you are a white female reader, tell me, does this ad make you think about adding some Old Spice to the shopping cart? Anybody had a new bottle of Old Spice show up in your bathroom recently?

UPDATE: My wife, the Hot Little Number, just bought me some Old Spice.

I wonder if the extent, scope and breadth of the casual culture of corruption that existed among the black elite during the Kilpatrick years will ever be completely known to the public. Kwame Kilpatrick’s text messages appear to be offering another window on the kinds of shenanigans he was getting up to. The Detroit News is reporting today on the revelation of a relationship of a personal nature between Kwame Kilpatrick and Sheryl Robinson Wood, a partner in Venable LLP, a business law firm based in Baltimore and with offices in D.C. and elsewhere. Wood was the monitor of a consent decree entered into between the City of Detroit and the Justice Department regarding problems with the Detroit criminal justice system’s handling of prisoners. Reportedly paid $287.00/hr, Wood was paid $10 million dollars through 2006 for her work as monitor of the consent decree.

Kilpatrick lobbied hard for the appointment of Wood to the monitor position, according to City Council members. The text messages, which have not been released to the public, reportedly indicate an inappropriate personal relationship between Wood and Kilpatrick and some exchange of information regarding the litigation surrounding the consent decree. References to going to dinner are apparently included in the texts.

The text messages are in the possession of the U.S. Dept. of Justice and confirm that there is an ongoing federal investigation into Kilpatrick and corruption and I’m willing to bet right now that this is not going to be the only shady set of circumstances to emerge from that investigation. The texts and apparently statements and admissions from Wood herself appear to be pretty damning. According to the Maryland Monitor;

“In an order filed Friday, Judge Julian Abele Cook Jr. of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan wrote that he had learned through “certain documents” and a subsequent conversation with Robinson Wood that she “had engaged in conduct which was totally inconsistent with the terms and conditions of the two Consent Judgments in this litigation.”

“Specifically, it has now become readily apparent to the Court that the Monitor had engaged in undisclosed communications, as well as meetings of a personal nature, with the former City of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick during the term of the Consent Judgments, which included inappropriate discussions with him about this lawsuit,” Cook wrote. “Under these circumstances, the Court finds that it is absolutely necessary to suspend all monitoring of this case immediately.”

This looks as though it may be another scandal replete with the same sort of tawdry elements that were present in the relationship of Christine Beatty and Kilpatrick. If so, it will be another cautionary tale for professional black women about the decisions they make and could become a story every bit as tragic in terms of its impact on a family. Ms. Wood is married to Wesley Wood, a business owner and candidate for the State House in the 44th District of Maryland. They have two young children. Like Beatty, this may end up another case where we are left wondering, “what was she thinking” and “what the heck was Kilpatrick doing to make educated, intelligent, married, professional black women with young children behave so foolishly?”.

However, those questions are really only the titillating eye candy on the surface of this mess. The real question that should be raised is how black electorates in Detroit and elsewhere seem unable to muster the will to hold accountable in any way elected officials they know are dirty.

Crossposted from my better half’, the lovely and luscious Alaine

I have educated quite a few people regarding the reality of domestic sexy – when having your lawn cut is more appealing than flowers. The women in my circle understand the concept, most are married and happily in love with a partner for life who is anything but handy. A clean car and garage easily rival flowers. Not that I mind the flowers, I just think that there are a variety of more intriguing actions that make a significant impact on my life. Laundry. Mopping. Clean Dishes. Fresh Linen. and um….changing light bulbs.

It had been a bit dim upstairs for a few weeks in our household. I was struggling with noticing the lightbulbs given the other domestic challenges I had been facing. There’s something really challenging about getting enough contract work that you are never at home to do your real work. My real work is centered out of our home, you know the aspiration to be the Proverbs 31 woman. I have dreams of blessing my household in the wee hours, yielding high regard for my husband, growing children who value my opinion more than the pop stars. I was feeling pretty smug about the domestic sexy concept, until my husband turned the lights out on my pride. He said in so many words – if you really liked domestic sexy you’d make sure I knew it.
I thought to myself, I just told you how much I value domestic sexy. He in return offered an astute directive – “I’m a hands on learner. I’d like to equate some action with your view of domestic sexy.” Oh, okay. He’s talking losing the domestic and the y and he’s cool. Instant reward.
I was in Staples yesterday and selected printer paper with an instant rebate, vs. a cheaper brand that required a mail in rebate. I like instant rewards. I was reminded in that brief moment that my husband likes instant rewards too. I thought my positive affirmations and a phrase coined after his attention to my domestic priorities was a great reward. He, however, is in many ways a very simple creature. I guess wife rain checks aren’t the prize I thought they were. Maybe a bit more instant reward will yield some core association like Pavlov’s rat. Every time you take care of A, I’ll take care of T&A. It sounds so crude and so unlady like and so contractual, it sounds so stiff, so….like I might get my patio and yard done if I did it. My personal Ah Ha Moment in Domestic Sexy indeed.

And now for something a little different

blessed – highly favored or fortunate (as e.g. by divine grace)

Alaine and I married 13 years ago and the word above is what describes my life ever since. Someone once said to me before we were married “Alaine will make an excellent wife, and she’ll be a damn good mother to your kids”. Truer words have never been spoken, and my only regret is that I am unlikely to ever be the all the husband she deserves.

Alaine is certainly physically beautiful. A glorious smile, an all woman figure, gorgeous skin. She’s got all the good stuff on that score. But those are really just the icing on the cake. They are not the things that made me love her. Why do I love her? First and foremost, I love her mind. Alaine is whip smart. Not merely brainy, but perceptive and insightful. She often perceives that which zips right by me. Alaine is a lady, okay? She has great dignity and grace, a sense of style that is her own. She’s strong, not to be trifled with. Doing her dirt or disrespecting her can put you on the endangered species list. Alaine is thoughtful, truly thoughtful. She writes notes and does special things for people all the time, naturally, because its just who she is. She has great integrity and is at times my moral compass when I lose my way. She is a wonderful mother. In this regard I cannot say enough. She exemplifies motherhood. In every way. My children are glorious little human beings and you only have to look at their mother to see why.

Lastly, like God, despite all my many flaws and truly gaping imperfections, she loves me.

And thats why I am called blessed.